©1997 Tim Kohler








                           SARCASM ALLEY




















                       For Debby,
                       Who knew to Believe










                        TABLE OF CONNED TENTS



         IN NO SENSE

         THE ODYSSEY AND THE IDIOT

         THE DEVIL IN FARMER FRED

         SARCASM ALLEY

         LIFE IN THE FACTORY GRIND

         LAND OF SIR REAL

         A DAY IN THE STRIFE















                              IN NO SENSE












   Company was coming to the farm house that night.  Mom busily
prepared the meal.  Little Stevie toddled under the table in the
next room.  In order to keep an ear on him, the door in between
had been cocked open.
   "Chair," named Stevie.  "Table."
   Stevie's Mom could not have been happier.  Her child had
started to talk much earlier than her friends' and she was
anxious to show him off.  Little Stevie passed the doorway.
   "Mommy."
   The harried woman looked back from the stove and smiled. 
Stevie ran stumbling back under the table to the shelves in the
corner.  He stared at a wooden duck level with his eyes.  His
brows knitted as he struggled to name it.  Suddenly, the light
came on.
   "Fuck!"
   Pounding noises came up behind.  Little Stevie turned to see
his mother's scowling face and a long, wooden spoon.
   "What did you just say?"
   Usually rewarded for talking, Stevie was trusting though
startled.
   "Fuck," he said with pride.
   "That's what I thought you said."
   She bent over and spooned several quick swats to his diaper. 
"Don't ever say that word again!" demanded she.  "That's a nasty,
awful, vulgar word!  Do you understand me?"
   A burning smell came from the kitchen.
   "Oh, dear!" cried Mommy, rushing back in.
   Stevie stood staring at the kitchen doorway, disturbed by the
painless yet frightening swats.  The bewildered but fast-learning
boy wondered to himself.
   "Fuck," he muttered, "What did I do?"



                     The Odyssey and the Idiot