THE ODYSSEY AND THE IDIOT It was a sweet, spring, sun-drenched day on the farm - the kind you only read about in books. The sky swept unabated across the flat horizon; a few whiffs of clouds floated lazily by. High grass in the field swayed gently in the breeze. The field itself teemed with a thousand worlds of life. A spider repaired its torn web. A chrysalis freed butterfly flew aimlessly about. The chirping of baby birds provided music among a rare row of trees. For little Stevie, his world around him wasn't as miraculous as it once was. As a child of imagination, nature was a mystic and sacred thing. He knew not only there was more than met the eye - but infinitely more. Part of him absolutely believed bliss was his only destiny and he wanted to share that feeling to all he met. When he saw a leaf, he saw a direct connection to his Maker. All he wanted to do was dream... But was that really practical? The question was a dark cloud to Stevie. Life was getting a little more complicated for the still naive farm boy. He sat unmoving on the wooden fence surrounding the field, this touch of despondency gnawing at him. Usually he was a happy and sunny child but now he was searching. Which way should he go: to follow his imagination...or to do what was "practical". He knew what he wanted to do - but since when did that count for anything! "Is this all there is?" he sighed, the wind buffeting back his hair. "Nobody wants to have adventures anymore. Nobody dreams or wants to have fun. The world is such a drag. What am I doing here, anyway?" The thought littered in his head. "Hey, if I knew the answer to that, it would solve everything!" He grew excited about this idea of finding The Answer. He could make it an adventure. The excited boy jumped off the fence. "I'll go ask Dad. He has an answer for everything." All a dither, he tore across the field back towards the house. The spider was upset - his web ripped anew. Stevie spied his father and a long-time hand walking out of the barn. He paused to watch the wiry frame of his father who always walked so urgently in his long, purposeful strides. There was much work to be done on the farm and he was not about to let anything slip up. That usually intimidated Stevie, who rarely dared to interrupt. But this was different. He felt his father would be pleased to enlighten his son. He ran with all his might to catch up. "Hi, Dad," said the boy brightly. His father continued his long strides. "What is it, Stevie? I'm busy." "I was wanting to know something." "What would that be?" "Why are we here?" His father's footsteps ground to a halt. Stevie captured his breath. "The reason we're here," sternly spoke the balding man, "is to work. If you did some more of it, you would know that. Does that answer your question?" Stevie could only wonder at the tone he heard. He didn't understand how he had upset his father. The two working men strode away to business. Stevie could hear as they conferenced among themselves. "Don't you think you were a bit hard on him?" pressed the old hand. "Oh, yeah," replied Dad with a bit of sarcasm, "He's a real hard irker that one." Stevie was hurt. For though his father had said "worker" he heard only "irker". But then, his father always said stuff like that. Undaunted, he thought of his mother. I should have gone to her in the first place," he lamented. "She's lots easier to talk to." He slammed through the screen door to the house. He found his mother in the back ironing clothes. She looked up when she saw him. "Stevie, have you seen your father? That leaky faucet is driving me crazy." "Uh, no, Mom. I just came in to ask you a question." He paused for a sign of possible retribution before continuing. "What are we here for?" "You mean, why do we exist?" "Yes." "I don't have an answer to that, honey. Maybe you should turn to the Bible. It has all the answers." "Where in the Bible should I look?" "I don't know specifically." "There must be some answer you know." "Sometimes it's best not to think about such things." Stevie studied the sleepy motions of the iron moving methodically and efficiently over the shirt. It was a silent little world into which he peered. "I still don't understand." "All I can say," said the mildly flustered woman, "Is that you'll just have to learn how to dope." He was disappointed be the answer, though acted pleased. "Okay, Mom. I'll see you later." "Don't forget to tell your father about the faucet," she reminded the rushing boy. "I will." The screen door slammed again. Outside the house, Stevie felt cheated. "I have the world's dumbest parents," he muttered. "What I need to do is get off this rotten farm and into the real world. There I can find an answer." The dirt road leading to the highway caught his eye. His chores were done; he had nothing better to do - why not walk out to the highway? He wanted to be alone. He ambled along admiring the neatly planted rows of wheat. He made a game of stepping in and out of the tire ruts. Before he knew it, he stood at the edge of the smooth black ribbon leading into the city. Stevie's farm house was pleasantly invisible. The highway had recently been resurfaced. A fresh yellow line divided it evenly as far as the eye could see. He gained a new respect for the road. It looked far grander in person than in his Dad's truck. He wanted to step on it, but his foot held back. Something told him he shouldn't go. Something stupid, he thought. He could take care of himself. Wasn't adventure his middle name? How could he not be inspired by these lands once roamed by wild Indians? And besides- "It's their own fault for not telling me anything." A tentative foot stepped onto the pavement. Then the other. Nothing happened. No storms or thunderbolts or screams for him to stop. Stevie smirked. With each step he gained confidence. It was exhilarating. He walked along a modern highway running through ancient Indian land. The late afternoon sun was the same seen by the Indians. What stories could these flat plains tell? Brave deeds and heroic living, no doubt. The world was such a curious wonder. There was so much he didn't know. But Indian boy's legs wearied quickly and his throat began to thirst. It only took a few minutes to get to town in the truck. Why wasn't he there already? Unhappily, he realized his bearings. "The gorge!" he groaned. "I'm only at the gorge." Before him lay a long descent followed by a steep hill back out. The long, hard climb back out challenged Stevie with a snicker. It knew it was a point of no return and it laughed at the little boy. Stevie wouldn't stand for the snickering hill. "I'll show 'em. I can be adult." Indian boy grabbed a stalk of grass to chew on and ventured forth. Secretly, he was worried about all the time this was taking, but real Indian boys didn't worry about such things, he reasoned. Still, he picked up the tempo. The long climb up was as tiring as he had feared. But he got a certain satisfaction out of the accomplishment. Surely his parents wouldn't deny him the glory of such a feat. He looked west to the sinking sun before turning his gaze to the road ahead. An old style whitewashed clapboard church with a grated parking lot and country charm was about a quarter mile down the way. Stevie knew that church. That's where he went. He would refuel there with water and rest. As he got closer, it didn't look like the church he knew on Sundays. It seemed an empty and lonely place, people only coming when they had to. The sad building inspired pangs of pity in his heart. Stevie shuffled his feet in the gravel of the parking lot, climbed the crumbling concrete steps ans stood before two large, imposing doors. On Sundays, the doors were always opened wide when he entered. These closed doors didn't want him. Creaking, he stuck his head in for a look. The Reverend standing at the alter heard the noise and spun around. "Stevie! What a surprise!" The boy did not move. "Come on in." Stevie the trespasser was interrupting grown up's work - a cardinal sin. Sensing his reluctance, the Reverend openly conveyed himself down the aisle. "You look troubled. Something wrong? Where are your Mom and Dad?" "I don't want to bother you." "You're not bothering anyone. It's good to see you." Stevie's heart lifted. For once, he wasn't a bother. And though the permanently ingrained smile of the preacher usually annoyed him to no end, this time it made him glad. The concerned Reverend spoke. "Are you by yourself? How did you get here?" "I walked," spoke Steve, trying to impress. The preacher let out an understanding "Oh", surmising the situation. "Then you must be tired. Have a seat in a pew." Stevie thought that was something neat - using a pew for rest - for something practical. He settled in. "I bet a lot of people ask you questions, don't they?" "Why yes," grinned the preacher. "Do you have one for me?" "Not if you're going to give me a rotten answer." "I have to answer the truth, Stevie. Sometimes people don't want to hear that, though." "I just want someone to tell me why I'm here. I want to know why everyone is here." "We are here to do God's will." The annoying part of the smile started to creep back in. "That doesn't tell me very much." "It just means that if you do what you're supposed to, everything will work out okay." "Oh," accepted Stevie. But another question bothered him. "How come when I asked my parents this they got all upset. Is it wrong to ask questions?" "Not if you listen to the answer." "Then why did they get so upset? Maybe," - he looked down - "Maybe they don't love me." "You did nothing wrong, Stevie. And I'm sure your parents love you." The smile was in full force, impressing every word on him. Stevie's face turned quizzical. "How do you know they love me? Did your parents love you?" "Oh, yes," enthused the preacher, "They clubbed me very much. Just as I'm sure your parents do." Stevie had a difficult time keeping his eyes on the hideous smile. He stood up, scrambling to get away. "Thanks for your help." "Anytime, Stevie. Don't ever hesitate to ask me anything." Stevie gave an obliging nod and started for the door. The Reverend stopped him. "Oh, why don't I take you home?" Stevie sold the Reverend something he thought he would buy. "Actually, I'd like to walk back - to think things over." "I understand. But I don't think your parents would like you to make a habit of this." "Don't worry, I won't," truthfully answered the boy. Stevie firmly shut the large door behind him. The door wasn't so imposing now. It was his friend - a nice, solid barrier between him and the preacher. The sun, the outdoors and the sight of the highway re-inspired the adventurer, free once more to resume his quest. The church marked the "smutty side of town" as his father called it. A few broken homes imposed upon the land. Rusty cars had heaped themselves onto driveways. In the distance roughly barked a dog. Fortunately, the houses were only on one side of the road. Stevie walked on the other. Then he saw a sight to make him smile: railroad tracks with an underpass below. He rushed down into the concrete cove. Stevie loved grafitti. He discovered the state of many relationships, saw an interesting anatomical drawing and mused over a racist joke. If he lived in the city, he too could be a part of all this. He was isolated on the farm; missing out. "If only I lived where the excitement was. These people really know how to live." He sighed and climbed up for a first hand look at the traveling rails of steel. He was not disappointed. These bold steel rails led around the world. His imagination soared down the tracks, dreaming of life as a hobo. No rules, no commitments - just endless adventure with the freedom to make your own way. "That would be fun!" he thought, till he remembered he lived in world where fun was not allowed. "Except they would probably beat me up and steal my food." With one last longing look, he said goodbye to the rails of freedom. But he lost all thought of them as his eyes squinted down the highway that civilized itself into a boulevard. Neon lights were coming to life. There was actually traffic and people. A policeman's lights swirled red and blue. "The City," uttered Stevie. Briskly, he zeroed in to the lights. The people came into focus. They all looked so confident. They lived life on their own terms, walking or standing as they pleased. "Yes," decided Stevie, "This is where the smart people live." He loved it all - the traffic lights, the city noises, the air of coolness on the street. A neon wagon wheel spun in front of one of the many motels. Stevie didn't know exactly what was going on here, but something was certainly happening. Out of the flow of passers by, Stevie looked for a friendly face. He saw two girls standing on the opposite corner, apparently with nothing to do. They scared him with their make up and wild clothes, but he was instantly drawn to them. He crossed the street hoping they wouldn't be mean to him. The two girls giggled at the approaching boy. "Hey there," said the blond in mock seduction. "Looking for a ride?" "Sure you can handle a man like him?" poked her brunette friend. Stevie took the look of amusement on their faces as a sign they liked him. "I just got into town off the farm," he boasted. The girls were slayed with laughter. "No kidding?" choked out one. "Need a little action, huh?" said the other, holding her thumb and index finger an inch apart. Stevie blushed, cursing himself for walking over. "A good looking boy like you should have no problem." The blonde reached over and pinched his cheek. Stevie thought: These aren't like the girls at school. I better get away before I make a fool of myself. "I just came here 'cause I wanted to know something. I thought people in the city might know more." "Oh, honey," smacked the blonde. "We know everything. Just ask." The two girls waited expectantly on the self-concious boy. "I was wanting to know what life is all about." The blonde turned serious. "Life is just a fantasy." She cocked her head. "Can you lead this fantasy life?" It was then that Steve knew. He knew he had to have it all. He was going to have the fantasy life his imagination told him he could have! "That's right," chimed in the blonde's co-worker. "Life is what you take of it." In some vague way, Stevie felt he had gained their respect. He decided to leave while ahead. "Okay, great," he nodded, backing away. "Thanks for the advice." "Advice is always free." Stevie didn't look back, turning to re-cross the intersection. Stiffly, he strode away, not relaxing until satisfied the women could no longer see him. He gazed around, an exotic "BAR" sign catching his attention. Pulled in like a magnet, he pressed his nose against one of the large plate glass windows. He knew this was "it" - the place of the truly hip. He had reached the heart of true living. Pulse racing, his eyes pierced through the smoke to dancing bodies and careless laughter. He was mesmerized by this peek into this other world - a world always kept hidden from him. Here was hedonism at its height; a free-for-all of lust and fantasies, boldly displayed before the world. "Awesome!" whispered Stevie, his breath steaming the glass. He didn't know if they would let him snatch a piece of such forbidden fruit, but he would try. Cautiously, he stepped to the open entrance. A young couple tittered merrily passed him, and Stevie lost his nerve. Cool as possible, he folded his arms, put down his head and listened just outside the door to the strange talk that seemed to be in some curious code. Stevie, the cool stranger outside the door, regained his nerve. Laboriously casual, he stepped through the door to the unhibited den of pleasure. But before he could think- "Scram, kid!" growled an angry owner from behind the bar. "Get the hell out." A patron on a stool came to his defense. "Relax, Barney. He's probably just looking for somebody." "I can lose my license with him in here." "Just cool down and let me talk to him." "All right. You've got two minutes, then out the door." The man left to tend his customers. The patron turned to Stevie, motioning him closer. The man seemed friendly - too friendly. His booze baited breath nearly knocked him over. "So, boy, whacha doing in this rat hole?" Stevie didn't understand the "rat hole" reference to such a glorious place. "I came into town from my farm today." He spoke as "grown up" as he could. "I wanted to see things here in the city." "Where are your parents?" "Back on the farm." "Do they know you're here?" After an anxious pause, "No." "Son, you are one stupid kid. Just imagine how your parents must feel right now." Stevie stepped back from the pungent bellowing. "I guess they're pretty worried." "You guess? Son, you've got to start taking on some responsibility." The wise old sage leaned over to put his hand on Stevie's shoulder, re-acquainting him with his breath. "Now let me tell you something, boy. You've got a lot of throwing up to do." "I suppose so," obliged Stevie once more. Then he ran out the door. Nowhere. Nowhere could he find so much as a lick of sanity or hope to his question. He just wanted to run, away from the confusion and turmoil. His mind snapped. Never again would he search for happiness from others. The glittery neon signs now mocked the small boy who came uninvited to the city. Quickly as his legs would take him, he rushed to escape their glare. Back on the open highway, only a few remaining rays of the sun were left. "I'm in deep shit this time," he moaned. But that was not all there was to moan about. He was also stuck. Stuck with the crummy deal life had handed him. He alone had to face the dangers ahead; no one could be trusted. It was too terrible to ponder, he drove the thought aside. Safe among the sweet scents of the open fields, his walk was brisk, hurried to get home. Maybe he could get back before anyone noticed. He tried to step it up, but he had little energy left. He cursed the situation he had been thrust into. "You can't depend on anybody for anything!" he said sourly. "If someone would help me, I wouldn't run off like this. Instead I just get a load of crap. It's their fault this happened!" He had spoken to convince himself, and in a way, he did. But he held no belief he could sway anyone else. Out of the dusk, blinding headlights headed for Stevie. They were going to kill him! The world was fed up with the stupid little questioning boy. He didn't mean it! He didn't mean to be so worthless! Frantic, he fled from the hunting lights. The pickup passed by and screeched to a halt. Stevie was not as upset as he thought he would be to hear his father's voice. "Stevie! Get your butt over here!" he yelled, half standing out of the cab. Stevie ran over and hopped in the passenger side. His father continued his scolding. "What in tarnation possessed you to run off like that? If the Reverend hadn't called, we still might've not known you were gone." Under the spotlight of his father's glare, Stevie could only answer, "I don't know." The huddled creature of Stevie was too pathetic to pick on further. His father slammed his door shut. "Well, why did you run when you saw the truck?" gruffed Dad. "Oh, that. I thought you were trying to run me over." "Run you over? What in the sam hill could make you think a thing like that?" Stevie fell into a reverie. "I don't know," he murmured, "It just seemed that way." The Devil in Farmer Fred